November62011

Baby Stars

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

Question to discuss:

what is that thing right there? dont you see it?!? WHAT IS IT?

Stranger: OHMYGOD I DONT KNOW

You: I do.

You: It’s a baby star.

Stranger: aw a baby star :’(

You: It needs a steady supply of matter - about a planet’s worth - fed to it steadily, so one day it will grow up and be a big, actual star

You: And live for billions of years, shining its light in a spot in the universe

Stranger: it’s so lovely….

You: Among trillions of its brethren, whom it will never meet, but whose light it may always be able to see.

You: Right now it’s tiny.

Stranger: one day it will grow up to a BIG STARRRR

You: And slightly pink, like a fleck of sunrise.

Stranger: like all the rest of the stars

Stranger: except BIGGER

You: But not TOO big.

You: If a star gets TOO big, it shines no more.

You: It becomes a black hole.

You: In essence, it will suck.

Stranger: do you love stars?

You: No. I’m merely fond of them.

Stranger: oh, okay. well your fondness is refreshing

You: What are the things that you love, kindly stranger?

Stranger: nobody appreciates stars anymore GOSHDARNIT

You: haha.

You: Goshdarnit. I can see the stars’ lack of appreciation has you VERY riled up.

Stranger: as a matter of fact yes. there’s nothing calming than looking a dark sky full of stars when you’re stressed out or worried about things and realizing how much more there is. out there. and how little and insignificant your worries are.

You: When I look up, i see the orange of reflected city light on dusty clouds.

You: With luck, I can spy seven, maybe eight of the brighter stars.

Stranger: do you write?

You: I try to.

You: I am horribly lacking in the ability to write out anything substantial.

You: All I have are pretty sentences thrown out, here and there.

Stranger: well when you put all of them together, you’ll have something BEAUTIFUL :D

Stranger: you have potential. keep working on it.

You: Thank you for your optimism and encouragement.

You: What aspect of potential are you currently working on?

Stranger: trivial things

Stranger: i need to come up with something to really strive for. i have goals for myself but i feel like they’re the things everybody hopes for. you know?

You: I hope to sell a novel everyone wants to read. You seem to think I have the ability to do so. You seem like a very hopeful person. What do you hope for?

Stranger: you’re very poetic. i bet you could write some amazing songs too. are you musical? and i don’t know, i just hope to be happy i guess. take it one day at a time and try to do my best for whatever tasks lies ahead of me.

You: I like music, but I don’t think I could WRITE a song. My words tend to ramble on at great length.

You: Are you happy?

Stranger: you should try :) and yes, i’m very happy. but i guess you can always be at a better place than wherever you’re at. or at worse place. i kind of want somebody special, but i’ve found out that boys aren’t really worth it…

Stranger: like i said, the trivial things. haha

You: Boys aren’t worth it? Ooh. What about girls?

Stranger: maybe i should have specified relationships. i mean you’re realllly happy for a little while but then it ends… and that’s it. things happen. and then you’re not happy.

You: isn’t that all of life? You’re happy and then you’re not happy, and then you’re happy again? Amidst the vast variety of other emotions you feel, of course.

Stranger: you have a good point. sometimes just being content is nice though. are you happy right now?

You: I most certainly am not.

You: Nor am I satisfied.

You: I’m uncertain as to my level on contentness, as well…

You: However, I am not sad.

You: So that’s something. Yay.

Stranger: well do you know why?

You: I can’t get my life to work. I do not know why.

Stranger: i do think things happen for a reason

Stranger: maybe it’s just a inconspicuous hint that, what’s in your life right now, well, isn’t working.

Stranger: can you change that?

You: Well, let me think.

You: I can’t change my environment, nor can I change the things I feel my environment is lacking.

You: I’m trying to change my habits.

You: It’s not working very well.

Stranger: i always repeat this to myself…. “have the power to accept the things which you cannot change”

Stranger: well, if what you said about life is true… it’s a series of ups and downs… then you will be up again soon.

You: Life’s never as simple as a series of ups and downs. It’s a four dimensional spiral that spikes either way as seemingly random points.

You: Affected by many things, but by nothing more than ones own self.

Stranger: exactly

Stranger: but everything can be simplified.

Stranger: so simply, you’re not happy, but you’re not sad. you’ve tried to change things, but it hasn’t worked yet. and you’re right, life it is what each individual makes it.

Stranger: the simple answer is to strive. keep trying and if what you try doesn’t work, change that too.

You: And what’s the complex answer?

Stranger: does there have to be a complex answer?

Stranger: the complex answer would be to look at each thing outside of yourself that’s affecting your life and why it’s not working, why you’re not happy. trying to change the people or things around you that you cannot change. complexity tends to make things… complicated.

You: Oh you.

You: Things ARE complictated.

Stranger: everything is complicated.

Stranger: but it doesn’t HAVE to be complicated

You: Oh gawrsh. Of course it does.

You: Only ameobas have it simple.

You: Unless you’re a scientist and know how complicated THEIR lives are.

You: Well, in the absolute. In comparison I’m sure they’re still pretty simple.

Stranger: and why must things be complicated?

You: Because the simpler we are, the LESS we are.

Stranger: well then why does simplicity seem to be related to happiness

Stranger: a kid has it easy. their lives are so simple. they’re happy. probably the happiest they’ll ever be, and they don’t really even know it.

You: Because people confuse simplicity for ‘things being sorted out’ and complicatedness for ‘lots of problems’

You: and kids are more EASILY made happy. they’re just as easily upset. in nostalgia, we’re guilty of leaving out the bits less golden.

Stranger: but just from observation you see the joy children find in the small things. the things we grow to overlook. and yes, you’re right, we also grow to not throw a tantrum over the smallest thing.

Stranger: what would it take for you to become happy?

You: Right now, eggs. Long term… to be able to keep the promises i make to me and everyone else around me.

Stranger: eggs?

You: Mm.

You: Yes.

Stranger: well i propose you get up and make yourself some eggs!

You: I have no eggs.

You: Nor money to go out and buy myself eggs.

You: I’m kinda broke and foodless at the moment.

Stranger: and is there any way that you can change that in the near future?

Stranger: it’ll get better. i mean things can only get better or get worse, and even if they keep getting worse they will eventually get better.

You: i’ve already called the friend who has my spending money.

You: you’re trying to improve my all-round happiness factor right now. why do you think you’re doing that?

Stranger: i think i’m doing it because i want you to be happy. why would i want you not to be? even though i don’t know you.

You: (oh, um, not that it’s not appreciated muchly, btw)

Stranger: human nature, perhaps

Stranger: hahaha go ahead

You: and it’s possibly because of empathy. the more unhappiness in me that i communicate to you, the more unhappiness in yourself you feel.

You: the more unhappiness we share.

You: for what is communication but sharing?

You: you seek to turn our current emotion-pool into one of happiness.

Stranger: in a sense, yes, but it also makes me more appreciate of what i do have.

Stranger: appreciative*

You: back up. you’re saying trying to make me happier makes you appreciate what you have more?

You: so if you weren’t trying to make me happier you wouldn’t be appreciating what you have more?

Stranger: no? yes? lol i’m happy. i am. but you communicating your unhappiness to you does make me empathize with you. if i wasn’t trying would i not appreciate what i have more? i don’t know. it just makes me realize that i should be HAPPY that i’m happy. sometimes i’m not. like i said, sometimes i get upset or stressed over trivial things. there are more important things to worry about. somebody always has it worse than you. and i don’t know how much worse you do have it, but just this entire conversation about what happiness is and means makes me realize that i should appreciate the fact that i am.

You: Ha. Happy to be an inadvertent uplifter of spirits, then!

You: I’ve been meaning to ask. What is is you consider trivial, and what is it you consider not trivial?

Stranger: probably exactly what you think. stupid little things that won’t really meaning anything in the grand scheme of life. the stress of school in general, boys, relationships, jealousy, worrying about other people when i need to make a decision or do something that affects first and foremost me.

Stranger: dumb. dumb. dumb.

You: you’re an odd person. that kind of stuff’s extremely important to me. well, school’s become less of a worry ever since i started college, ha. what do you consider NOT trivial?

Stranger: oh no school is extremely important to me. i put myself under a lot of stress with school… but i guess what i’m trying to say is when i’m stressing over a test for example, at approximately 1am i realize that what i get on this chem test will not determine the rest of my life. and boys. i want to find somebody. that i can be happy with. that’s important to me. but worrying about who my ex is talking to and wanting somebody’s attention just for the minute of satisfaction just seems silly.

Stranger: and pointless drama. i hate drama. unnecessary drama. losing one of your best friend over somebody else’s stupid, unnecessary drama. that’s the kind of trivial crap i hate.

Stranger: and not trivial… mainly all of the things that i don’t have to worry about yet. a job (recently i quit my job actually HA), paying bills, supporting a family, having a home, food, etc.

Stranger: but i guess for where i am at right now, the trivial things are really the only things that makes them not trivial after all….

Stranger: sorry if i’m not starting to make sense it’s getting a little late haha

You: yeah, it got it all except for that last bit. “The trivial things are really the only things that makes them not trivial after all”. Would you care to elaborate on that?

Stranger: i meant to say which instead of that. since i don’t have any of the things i consider “important” in the whole scheme of life to worry about right now, what’s important to me at the moment are the things i consider to be trivial. i guess i’m just looking to the future and assigning everything in my life right now as being trivial, since it’s eventually going to change and i’m just thinking i won’t have to worry about it, say, 10 years from now.

Stranger: i kind of have a stream of consciousness going on there ha probably makes no sense

You: ha

You: streams are good

You: hold on, lemme read, i had to go to make sure my noodles didn’t burn.

You: (i had a packet of noodles hidden!)

Stranger: mmm noodles

Stranger: i want some cake.

You: oh, see, your elaboration makes sense. Your(damn you for mentioning cake. I SERIOUSLY WANT CAKE NOW) future ideas of what’s important have made your current focuses seem trivial. But since you don’t HAVE those future worries yet, your current “trivial” problems are what important to you.

You: did i get that right?

Stranger: hit the nail on the head

Stranger: especially since im kind of just realizing that now too haha

You: ha. well, you did just explain it to me.

You: sooo. what’s most important to you right now? besides cake. aarrrrrrrgh i wantcake.

Stranger: well, at the moment i’m worrying about all the homework/various school crap i have to do which i put off until tomorrow. hahahahaha and tomorrow i will put it off to tomorrow night, naturally. and i also came across this zodiac sign site on tumblr and am cracking up because it is strangely true about certain people.

You: wow. SO many of the people on omegle are also on tumblr.

You: you know what subjects they should teach in school? The Art Of Not Procrastinating.

Stranger: that would be the most helpful thing in the universeeee

You: They should make that an ESSENTIAL subject.

Stranger: i do well under pressure though it seems

Stranger: hell, i probably would do better NOT under pressure except i wouldn’t know haaa

You: ha.

You: i do terrible under pressure.

You: but then again, i do terrible when not under pressure too.

You: i’m not sure how exactly it is i DID do well when i did do well.

Stranger: if you’ve survived through high school and made it too college, you can’t do that badly.

You: Ahh. There’s a point.

You: I should figure out how i survived high school.

You: Fortunately, I have diaries!

Stranger: to* jesus see i am tired

Stranger: i am waaay too lazy to keep a diary

Stranger: tried and failed

You: ha.

You: it’s all a matter of setting a time for yourself and.. okay, well, yeah, there’s a certain amount of dedication involved, especially at the start.

You: it helps to be crazy compulsive like me.

You: but enough talk. i think you should sleep now. sleep is important.

You: it’s non-trivial, past, present OR future.

Stranger: haha yes :) well this was a good talk. whoever is watching us better be thoroughly entertained… and seriouslyseriously WRITE A BOOK. or something. you may not even realize it completely but you really do have an incredible way with words.

You: oh, i know THAT.

You: i just can’t get ‘em all into a book.

Stranger: if you have the patience to keep a legit diary i think you can figure out a way

You: you’re a rare gem. omegle is NOT filled with people who are fun to talk to.

You: and your sense of optimism is rather strong, too.

You: you’re probably really pretty, too.

You: although you could work on typing faster..

Stranger: hahahaha i know. people are… a little pathetic. and really? maybe i just come across that way. i’ve been told i’m a little bit pessimistic… the optimism is inside my head

Stranger: im sorry! i get distracted…. lol tv is rightttt next to me

You: maybe your pessimism is trying to rein your optimism in a little.

You: ooh. what’s on tv?

Stranger: eh perhaps

Stranger: currently a commercial aha

Stranger: and ive just been wondering are you a guy or a girl?

You: I’m a guy.

Stranger: hmm okay. well i hope you’re enjoying your noodles :) i actually am going to go to sleep now… goodnight!

You: g’night, pleasant lady.

You: dream blue.

You: and of stars.

Stranger: baby stars!

Stranger: aha you too :) and that’s a demand. be happy! or try to be, at least.

You: mm. what’s your tumblr address?

You: oh my. a demand. well, your demand is my wish, which is my demand. i think.

Stranger: i don’t really have one… well i do but it’s locked for my use as personal diary of sorts when i sporadically write in it haha i’m more a tumblr stalker not user

You: ha.

You: stalk iseekum.tumblr.com, then. i always welcome followers.

Stranger: got it! okay really forreal this time GOODNIGHT! nice talk :)

You: goodnight forreal :)

Stranger: fooorrreaallll lol

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

 

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